


Shards

by MayLovelies



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, takes place after 'The Die Is Cast'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 03:51:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14536029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayLovelies/pseuds/MayLovelies
Summary: While Garak repairs what is left of his shop, he cannot forget what he has done to Odo. The guilt nearly cripples him. In the midst of his inner turmoil, Julian offers him a helping hand in more ways than one.





	Shards

**Author's Note:**

> so...i just got done watching the episodes with odo and garak. And damn.

Garak had told himself he’d finish cleaning the other side of his shop that night. After that he’d rest, take a break and then continue fixing his shop until he completed his task. He hoped that wouldn’t take long. Garak naturally was a fast and efficient worker so in his mind, this plan seemed infallible

 

Yet there was already an unpredicted problem early on that prevented him from continuing his task. The problem being, he still could not forget what he had done to Odo. He could not purge the image of a decaying changeling from his mind, screaming for mercy at the top of his lungs. And Garak did that all for a man who used him, abused him and who’d kill him in a heartbeat. He still felt like a monster, and no amount of consolation from Odo would change that. 

 

Every shard of glass casually scattered on the ground, that reflected his tired face immobilized him. He couldn’t stand to look at himself, if only to be reminded of the  _ traitor  _ he was. Unluckily for him,  there was glass everywhere. Garak thought that burying himself in work would help keep his mind off of what happened. Yet that worked  _ against  _ him, and he was only reminded of the fool he was. 

 

“Garak!”

 

Dr. Bashir’s lively voice tore through Garak’s inner turmoil. He heard the doctor approaching,  attempting not to trip over the wayward furniture and other discarded objects. 

 

“Doctor!” Garak called, forcing away any vulnerability in his voice. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I..I’ve come to help--Lights!”  

 

Garak recoiled when the radiance glazed his room. For hours now he’d been working in the dark, which was no issue to him. Yet Bashir had tripped once or twice already and understandably, he wasn’t too pleased with the Cardassian’s current setup. When the lights came on, the true wake of the destruction was visible to him.   

  
  


And so was Garak, who was currently positioned in the corner of the room, sitting up against a wall with some stray fabric in his hand.

 

“Ahh there you are Garak. You’ve certainly got a lot done in the past few days.” He responded, sarcastically. “I’m still convinced you should be resting and not working--”

 

“Doctor, I’m fine. I can manage.” His attempt to hide his feelings of anguish was nearly detected in his voice, however, it was his expression or lack of one gave it away. He looked elsewhere, avoiding the doctor’s gaze.

 

He could feel Bashir’s warm eyes on him, surveying his body for any sign of distress or discomfort. Garak however, wouldn’t turn his head to look.  He wouldn’t face Julian to dissuade his speculations or concerns. Garak simply couldn’t bring himself to look at the doctor. 

 

Not after all he’d done. Not after he’d taken someone Julian had cared for, and treated them so poorly. If Bashir only knew, then he would not be here in this shop, attempting to comfort someone who didn’t need comforting. 

 

“You haven’t come out of your room in  _ days.  _ The people on the station are getting worried Garak...”

 

“So you came to check on me because people were worried?” Garak inquired. “Well as you can see, I’m alright--”

 

“Odo also sent me to see if you were well. He’s worried too, Garak. And so am I.” Bashir began his stride toward his friend, still stepping over hurdles in his way. “You’ve stood me up twice...no one has seen you in the promenade...you have no working replicator.” 

 

Garak audibly sighed, causing Bashir to pause momentarily before continuing.

 

“I’ve been dealing with my  _ own  _ personal issues doctor. But I assure you, I’m fine. You, nor the people on this station, least of all not Odo himself have to worry about me.” His voice lacked the confidence from before, that same confidence he always had. There wasn’t a drastic change, and for someone who didn’t know him there may not have been much of a difference. But Bashir knew his voice, knew his emotions and knew when he was vulnerable. This was one of those times.

 

“Doesn’t seem like you’ve been handling that well.” Bashir finally made it to Garak and slowly sat down near him. Garak made no indication to address him, there was no movement of his body or his eyes. 

 

“Odo sent you...did he?” Garak whispered quietly, finally moving. He sighed, still looking at the fabric in his hands.

 

“That’s right.” Bashir responded just as quietly. “He’s been worried about you since--”

 

“If you only knew what I did to him.” Garak nearly choked. “What I did to the man you, and everyone else on this station respects so much...you wouldn’t be here talking to me.”

 

Things went quiet then.  Garak was trying his best not to look at Julian; he just wanted to disappear. He hoped that he was quiet and  _ still  _ enough for Bashir to grow tired of his task and leave. 

 

Garak simply wanted to be alone. 

  
It was then the doctor placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly.

 

“Garak--”

 

“It doesn’t surprise me that Odo didn’t tell you what happened. He’s a good man, I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

 

“Your hands, Garak. They’re bleeding.” 

 

Garak grimaced as he looked at the fabric in his palms except...he realized he wasn’t clenching fabric at all. Perhaps he was so distraught he couldn’t feel the pain, or his mind was playing tricks on him for prior to this, he wasn’t aware that he clenched  _ not  _ fabric, but shards. Pointed, transparent glass shards.

 

“I didn’t even realize, doctor.”  _ Maybe it’s what I deserve.  _ He thought to himself. It was the perfect penance after all.

 

Julian responded by snaking his arm further around Garak, and pulling him into an embrace. Garak did not protest, he allowed himself to be led into the humans arms in silence. He didn’t know if he wanted this moment to end, or last for an eternity. Regardless, he still felt ashamed...he still feared that the doctor would see him as a monster, if only he knew the truth. 

 

“Those wounds need to be treated Garak. We can come back here later--”

 

“Doctor, really...you should leave me. I’ll be alright.” Garak whispered, shamefully. “Please.”

 

A few more moments of silence passed before Bashir spoke again. He held Garak tighter.

 

“Odo told me, Garak. He told me everything.” He took a deep breath

 

Garak felt his chest tighten and his breath grew short. “I’m sorry.” He managed.

 

“Odo has forgiven you, Garak. My opinion...the way I feel about you hasn’t changed. I just came in here to make sure you are alright. You aren’t.” Bashir sighed once more. “Let’s go fix your hands. You’ll stay in my quarters tonight...we’ll fix this place tomorrow.” 

 

Garak obliged in silence and within seconds, the two had left the broken shop behind. Shards and all. 

**Author's Note:**

> i had this fic sitting on my computer for a week XD. I hope it's alright! Kudos and comments are very appreciated <3


End file.
